[Intro music]

00:00:08 Hannah 

Hi I'm Hannah. 

00:00:10 Rachelle 

Hi, I'm Rachelle and this is Formula One-01.

00:00:14 Hannah 

So to get ready for the Monaco Grand Prix this weekend, we decided to take a look back into F1 history for some fun stories that transpired in Monaco. But, before we kick that off, let's get into our digital roundup for the week. So, we mentioned a few weeks ago that the Turkey Grand Prix made its way into the race schedule to replace the Canadian Grand Prix because Canada had quarantine restrictions. 

However, we just found help that Turkey also has quarantine restrictions. And so,

00:00:52 Rachelle 

You know, that's something that they probably should have looked into when they rescheduled it to Turkey. 

00:00:59 Hannah 

Right. It's unbelievable, so they got cancelled and now we're having two Austria Grands Prix back to back at the same track. Second update of the week. McLaren released a new livery. Which for non-F1 people… 

00:01:17 Rachelle 

Un-educated people. 

00:01:20 Hannah 

I was trying to say that tactfully. 

00:01:24 Rachelle 

I don’t believe in tact.

00:01:24 Hannah 

Livery is just like a uniform, color scheme. 

00:01:33 Rachelle 

You know what happened? Hannah Googled livery and is reading the dictionary.com definition.

00:01:37 Hannah 

Well, I mean, how else do you describe it? 

00:01:41 Rachelle 

I think yeah, no, that is how you describe it.

00:01:44 Hannah 

Thank you, dictionary. 

00:01:49 Rachelle 

It’s the outside of the car and it's exciting because it's not ugly papaya anymore.

00:01:55 Hannah 

No, it's a beautiful baby blue named after Gulf. Gulf Oil is a major global oil company from… It was founded in Pittsburgh, however it's headquartered in India. I'm kind of surprised that, cause it says Gulf everywhere, like on their helmet and like cars. And I'm kind of surprised in this day and age, they could just like really latch onto an oil company, you know, with global warming happening. 

00:02:33 Rachelle 

Whatever this is F1, they don't they care.

00:02:37 Hannah 

No one gives a shit.

00:02:42 Rachelle 

But also, I think that they're they're taking baby steps like you're not allowed to advertise cigarette companies on your car anymore.

00:02:49 Hannah 

I do love the iconic look of Marlboro. Marlboro.

00:03:01 Rachelle 

Yeah, same, I also like Marlboro. 

00:03:08 Hannah 

Find me one person who could say that correctly. You cannot. 

00:03:13 Rachelle

Maybe that's why they removed it, cause no one could actually pronounce it.

00:03:18 Hannah 

OK. 

00:03:19 Rachelle 

There's a great picture of Niki Lauda in a Marlboro bucket hat. 

00:03:25 Hannah 

I want that. Seems cool. 

00:03:28 Rachelle

I agree. But back to the McLare Gulf livery. It's super iconic. 

00:03:35 Hannah 

I'm just really excited about it because as everyone knows I love McLaren merch, but I hate the color orange. Which really only leaves me with options of like something black with like the McLaren logo or like grey which aren't good options. But now there is this baby blue, and there is a hoodie I really wanted, but like actually half the Gulf merch sold out within 12 hours. 

00:04:03 Rachelle 

Yeah. They're a little pricey, but I don't believe it's pricey because

00:04:06 Rachelle 

It's McLaren

00:04:06 Hannah 

It's McLaren. 

00:04:08 Rachelle 

Yeah, and and Lando looks great in it. I don't actually know what Daniel looks like in it because he was mysteriously absent from all the promo. 

00:04:18 Hannah 

I mean, they know what sells. 

00:04:20 Rachelle 

And it's Lando. Because he just signed a contract with McLaren through 2023 I think. 

00:04:28 Hannah 

Yep, so he's really fully committed to McLaren and Uncle Zak Brown. 

00:04:36 Rachelle 

Oh, Uncle Zak is more than an uncle. 

00:04:38 Hannah 

He's a father. 

00:04:41 Rachelle 

He's a father figure. He’s the father to all us

00:04:42 Hannah 

Actually, yes, I forgot. He's the father to Lando. Andreas, he's the uncle that you're just like who the fuck is he? 

00:04:52 Rachelle 

Why are you here? Yes, also McLaren tried to get a little funky with their marketing. By the way, I applied for a job there in marketing. Wrote a fantastic cover letter that I have not heard back from. 

00:05:04 Hannah 

It was. 

00:05:05 Rachelle 

Maybe I could have helped them with this particular decision, but whatever. They decided to make a weird video. 

00:05:13 Hannah 

Yeah, if you go to the McLaren IGTV, you'll see a video from all from Lando’s perspective, and it's so awkwardly scripted like he goes into this windowless room. Even though the McLaren headquarters is only windows. They find the one room in the headquarters that has zero windows. And Zak and Andreas are in there and it looks like he's being interrogated, but actually they're signing a contract and like when Zak asked Lando to sign a contract, like a little video game pop up comes up. It's like accept or reject. And like Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo, accept. And it’s like, OK. We’re not five.

00:05:56 Rachelle 

But also, I think they the window the room was windowless cause they were in their motorhome, not in Woking. They weren’t in their headquarters. They were on the road. 

00:06:07 Hannah 

Oh yeah, they're in Monaco right now. 

00:06:09 Rachelle 

Yes, but they could have signed it by the water. That sounds like a fun meeting.

00:06:12 Hannah 

Oh no, why aren’t they on a yacht? Idiots.

00:06:14 Rachelle 

Red Bull only exclusively seems to travel on yachts. I think McLaren needs to step it up. Monaco is very iconic and lots of stuff happens in Monaco. There are stories that are told time after time after time like Senna and other people. But we're not going to focus on the basic stories. We're going to go a little obscure and talk about a man whose name I cannot pronounce. Taki Inoue.

00:06:49 Hannah 

Yes, that was very good. I think. Inoue. 

00:06:52 Rachelle 

Thank you. Inoue. Taki Inoue, who we believe is F1’s most underappreciated driver. Others might say he is F1’s worst driver, but that's really up for debate. So, without further ado. Gentlemen, a short view back to the past.

00:07:10 Hannah 

So, talking was a paid Japanese driver who competed in F1 in 1994 and 1995. And yes, he's, I don't know about the worst driver in F1, but he's certainly among the worst because in those two years he only finished five races and I guess he never scored any points. So, you'll find out why shortly. So, 

he's most famous for his freak accidents. So, the first one was in Hungary where he was pulled off to the side of the road because his engine stopped working and so he was like waiting in his car. But then some marshals had to get fire extinguishers to extinguish his steaming car like a steaming engine and so Taki went to go help them. 

00:08:13 Rachelle 

Oh, that’s nice of him.

00:08:19 Hannah 

Yeah, he wanted to help them fetch a fire extinguisher. However, during this task he did not see the medical car coming towards him. And it crashed into him. He fell to the ground. 

00:08:38 Rachelle 

But I mean, good thing there was a medical car there.

00:08:41 Hannah 

Right, ironically, the medical car destroyed him. But the thing is, actually, he didn't injure his leg that bad. He actually was able to take part in the Grand Prix like the week, or week after that. So, he was fine. And he said, he was recounting the event in an interview, and he's like “bang! Someone hit me very hard. But I landed on my feet, perfect landing I gave 9.9 marks out of 10.” But he literally collapsed. 

Does he watch gymnastics? Because that is not how you land. He collapsed on the ground in a fetal position. 

00:09:32 Rachelle 

Do you think his first choice was to a paid gymnast, but there were no seats on the Japanese gymnastics team? 

00:09:39 Hannah 

No. He probably fell off her balance beam and he's like, see? Perfect! And then they're like you need to do this other sport where you do not have to land on your feet. 

00:09:52 Rachelle 

Did you know that most failed gymnasts become F1 drivers? 

00:09:58 Hannah 

Yeah, makes sense. So that happened in Hungary. Shortly after that, so they're in a, I think this was a practice actually, for the Monaco Grand Prix. He was like on the side of the road. Thankfully this time in his car. But somehow the safety car crashed into his car on the road, just on the side. The safety car actually… 

00:10:25 Rachelle 

He crashed into the safety car or the car crashed into him? 

00:10:28 Hannah 

No, in this case, the safety car was like the aggressor and, again, ironic, that the safety car would. Oh, he got a concussion from this one, but he was fine actually. 

00:10:43 Rachelle 

Did he drive? 

00:10:44 Hannah 

Yeah, I don't know if he drove like that weekend for Monaco, but he he was fine, like he for sure was at the next race. But another fun thing. Fast forward, like almost 10 years in 2012, Kimi Raikkonen created t-shirts that said, “leave me alone. I know what I'm doing.”

00:11:07 Rachelle

Oh wait, that was one of his radio messages, to his engineers who were trying to tell him what to do. 

00:11:10 Hannah 

Exactly, it's like his catch phrase, but then Taki suggested his own t-shirt that and made them that says “do not leave me alone. I have no idea what I'm doing.”

00:11:27 Rachelle 

You know, maybe those incidents were intentional. It was his cry for help cause he had no clue what he was doing. 

00:11:34 Hannah 

He's a failed gymnast. What do you think is gonna happen on the track? Anywho, back on. OK, so more on Taki’s comedy. So he has an active Twitter page and I just want to highlight his most recent tweets because they're, well, the best things are about Mazepin, who you know, at least in this current season, is objectively the worst driver in F1, so Taki feels some sort of connection to him. 

00:12:07 Rachelle 

And so, he feels like a mentor. 

00:12:09 Hannah 

Yes, he needs to give him advice. Uhm. 

00:12:12 Rachelle 

On how to continue being the worst driver but with your head held up high. 

00:12:17 Hannah 

He retweeted F1’s tweet about Mazepin that said, “An off for Nikita Mazepin as he ventures into the gravel at Turn 2”. And Taki retweeted it, saying, “oops……. Already…….. I am not ready yet having my breakfast at the moment”. Love him. OK on May 7th, “MAZ destroyed super License point system of FIA. He got full point to be valid for his Super License, but he seems to be driving F1 like a Taki Inoue. This proves clearly FIA doesn’t need super License point system anymore”.  

00:13:00 Rachelle 

I've never actually thought about this. You need points to get a super license. How can Mazepin and Taki earn their points? They buy them? Is that what he's implying? Is that the joke? 

00:13:04 Hannah 

Right? I think so. I think so. 

00:13:13 Rachelle 

So he's saying the FIA is corrupt. 

00:13:16 Hannah 

Yes. I mean, the team is funded by a Russian oligarch. How much more corrupt can you get? 

00:13:24 Rachelle 

I don't think oligarchs are corrupt. 

00:13:27 Hannah 

By definition, OK, May 8th. 

00:13:31 Rachelle 

I was joking. Unless oligarchs are listening, in which case I'm not joking. 

00:13:36 Hannah 

No, we love oligarchs.

00:13:40 Speaker 4 

We stan oligarchs.

00:13:41 Hannah 

Yes, OK, May 8th he says, “Taki Inoue haven’t got any pole in his race career.” Why? 

00:13:55 Rachelle 

Is that it? He was like, let's revisit the past, shall we?

00:14:00 Hannah 

The comments, one of them says: but you got to hit by a medical car. Hamilton never did that. You're the real goat. 

00:14:10 Rachelle 

They're not wrong.

00:14:10 Hannah 

Yeah, like we said.

00:14:13 Rachelle 

Like we said, if we readjust our expectations, anyone can be a GOAT.

00:14:17 Hannah 

Yep. OK, another tweet on May 8th, this one about Mazepin. He says, “MAZ, got-“

00:14:25 Rachelle 

Affectionately. 

00:14:27 Hannah 

No no no no. Later it is. OK, so first sentence “MAZ got a three-place grid drop for impeding Norris in qualifying. Look MAZ, you don't have to look at front, just look at side mirrors 90% during driving, even in Quali. That's what I did to survive.” 

00:14:50 Rachelle 

Oh, that explains it. He had no side mirrors when he got hit by the medical car so he couldn't, he couldn't execute his tactic and come out alive. 

00:15:01 Hannah 

You mean because he was outside of the car? Where he has full range to look anywhere. 

00:15:08 Rachelle 

You don’t know, maybe he struggles with turning his head. 

00:15:12 Hannah 

His latest tweet on May 9th “Verstappen needs strong teammate and clever strategists”. But that's a bit of a subtweet to Christian Horner. Like isn't he supposed to be the clever strategist? 

00:15:26 Rachelle 

It's also a subtweet at Pérez, who's supposed to a good teammate. 

00:15:29 Hannah 

Yeah, right. He needs a strong teammate. Not Checo. 

00:15:35 Rachelle 

No, no. Well, he has the Pope in his car. And when the Pope's on your side, anything can happen. 

00:15:40 Hannah 

But how is the Pope in his car? 

00:15:43 Rachelle

He has a picture of the Pope in his car. 

00:15:48 Hannah 

Oh Checo does? 

00:15:49 Rachelle 

Yeah, not the actual Pope.

00:15:53 Hannah 

That wraps up our story time about Taki. And now we would like to address a listener question who asked from London, England: who would you most like to see win their first GP and who would you most like to see crying in the pits after having to retire from a race? OK, well I think we have the same answer for who would most like to win their first GP. I very much like to see Lando Norris win, especially in their new Gulf livery. 

00:16:27 Rachelle 

Yes, if he wins Monaco, epic. But Zak deserves it too. And also, I also think America needs a better rep in the F1 world than Haas.

00:16:36 Hannah 

Oh yeah. 

00:16:37 Rachelle 

And Zak Brown, is it. 

00:16:39 Hannah 

He needs to be our representative. Our diplomat if you will. 

00:16:43 Rachelle 

I think he is a representative, I just don't think anyone knows it yet except for us. Because you know what? 

00:16:49 Hannah 

What? 

00:16:52 Rachelle 

Zak is beauty. Zak is grace. Zak is Mr. United States. 

00:16:59 Hannah 

Yes, I really need that on a T-shirt, on a poster, on my phone wallpaper. Cause he is Mr. United States. 

00:17:09 Rachelle 

He is. 

00:17:10 Hannah 

I've never seen anyone embody America more than this man. 

00:17:16 Rachelle 

The good parts.

00:17:16 Hannah 

Yeah, not the trash. 

00:17:18 Rachelle 

We crap on America a lot. No, this isn’t the trash part of America. This is all the good stuff in America. 

And he he can adapt overseas, which is imperative. 

00:17:28 Hannah 

But yeah, we love Zak and wish them well. OK, who do you want to see crying in the pits? 

00:17:36 Rachelle 

I mean, Mazepin. 

00:17:38 Hannah 

Yes. 

00:17:39 Rachelle 

Yes, we, at least I don't think Hannah or I particularly enjoy seeing people cry, but some people you want to see suffer a little. 

00:17:48 Hannah 

Well, or show remorse. 

00:17:50 Rachelle 

Yes, for being so bad, at least like Taki like mocks and like he  accepts himself for what he is. It's self-deprecating. It's great. Mazepin, on the other hand, thinks, I don't know what he thinks. He walks around like he's God's gift, but really he's the oligarch’s gift. 

00:18:10 Hannah 

They're they're gifting him to Haas.

00:18:13 Rachelle 

Oh, is Haas blessed or what? 

00:18:16 Hannah 

Well, Haas was just trying to survive. I don't think they want this situation in an ideal world. But you know sometimes you have to do bad things for money. 

00:18:32 Hannah 

It's the American stance. That's our answer. Let us know what you think. 

00:18:40 Rachelle 

Yeah, in the comments. I was just going to say, when you listen to this practices will have already started in Monaco cause they're on Thursday. So we'll be sharing our thoughts on that soon. And we're very excited. We're so excited to be in Monaco, so look out.  

00:18:56 Hannah 

Yes, this is going to be the best Grand Prix of the year. 

00:19:01 Rachelle 

We even cooked Monegasque food in preparation for this weekend, so. 

00:19:07 Hannah 

Yes, we did. 

00:19:08 Rachelle 

We're in the Monaco spirit. Yeah, OK, all right. I'll see you soon, guys. Box box!

00:19:14 Hannah 

box box!